Bill’s freak date chica

My chemist-chica-blog-buddy, Judes was bloggin about a freaky, friend, flippin-out on her. Judes explains how that person had made the relationship uncomfortable and how she ultimately chose to end the friendship because of it. It reminded me of a bizarro incedent I had with a crazy, freak-a-zoid, stalker chic… I mean, I know I am hot and all… and all the chics want to be with me all the time…but hey, you know…

On honesty and creepy friends, I got a good one: (quick background)
Once I was a manager of John Deere store. We had an elderly gentleman named Bill who asked for a part time job a few days a week because he loved John Deere tractors and he wanted something to do. He always wore a tie, always had a smile. Heavily involved in his church, he went every Sun and Wed evening and everyone in town knew him. Very quiet and reserved, he was almost deaf. He was 73. I told Bill he could work whenever he wanted to. Sweetest most gentle guy in the world.
OK, Bill found out I was single and comes to me one day telling me about this woman at his church whose husband had passed away some years before, and how he had mentioned me to her. He then asks if I would like to go on a double date with this girl, and him and his wife. (Heavy sigh) So I can’t say no to him, he is just the nicest old dude in the world and so I say “sure.”
I go, have dinner with Bill and his wife, (first time meeting her btw) and this chic from their church. Nice girl. After dinner, I can’t remember exactly what Bill said, but the way he said it set me up to have to ask this chic out for drinks after. (Heavy sigh)
So now its just me and her. Come to find out her husband died 7 years earlier and I am her first date since. Not bad conversation, but she is not who I am looking for. Date ends. I go home.
Chic calls me at work a few days later. Asks if I would like to have dinner. I think “Wasn’t terrible the first time, beats eating alone, why not.” Go out for a second meal together.
So the score is, two meals and two after dinner beers. No kiss, no holding hands, no intimate talk of any kind, just two people sharing a meal: eating at the same table. I’ve been in airports and sat and ate with strangers and had deeper conversations than what this woman and I spoke about.
No drinks after dinner. She asked, I declined and went home. I thought that would be a good signal, that I was not interested.
Bill gives her my cell number. She begins to call me the following day. At first every hour: “What are you doing?” That sort thing. Then every half hour, and then every 15 min. I had 48 calls the first day. Three days into it I finally answered and said: “Look, I am not interested. You are a scary chic and I just don’t want anything to do with you. Stop calling me.”
Within the week, all four tires on my Range Rover get slashed. There was a bar I frequented and I get this typed letter in my mailbox that is addressed from them saying “don’t come back to the bar…” I knew the owner and took the letter to her and she said it was not real. She even pointed out that on the envelope, the stamp was canceled, but the envelope was not. Like someone had taken a stamp off of a piece of sent mail, and put it on this envelope. I filled out the form for mail fraud and pointed the chic out to the SBI, Postal and police dudes I spoke with. Doing that thing with a stamp is a felony. Putting that made up thing into my mailbox was another felony and the impersonating of another person was bad too.

I understand freaky friends flippin the frigg out on you. Breathe deep, know that time heals all, and lock your doors at night.
Maybe get a baseball bat or a golf club… I have pepper spray…


2 Responses to “Bill’s freak date chica”

  1. Aww! Thanks for the shout out!! I haven’t updated my blog in awhile and instead of doing it, I figured I’d stop by here! That means you are special! yay. I love blog shout outs. You made my day!! And btw I enjoyed that story when you shared it with me. Also, I LOVE JOHN DEERE!! My dad gave me a 1956 JD “50” (wide front – only 50 of them made) when I was 14. We did very hickish things like tractor pulls (just me and daddio). Loser bought dinner. One summer my dad had to buy a LOT of dinners. LOL. Thanks for sharing! You rock.

  2. John Deere is the shiz! I worked for them for over a year. which reminds me of a little jaunt I took with them…(see later blog) No prob on the shout out! You are the bomb!
    If any of my other readers would like to read Judes blog, check her out at You have to be a ‘member’ of shutterfly, but it’s free and I haven’t seen any junk email from them.

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